HOLLY MIRANDA SMALE

Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.







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Sunday, 10 May 2009

Mum complains again.

My mum is not happy with me.

'Holly,' she said as soon as I picked up the phone. 'You can't just chop the blue flowers and then spray them and "hope they'll go away". They won't go away: they're buggers. You have to get in there with a fork and get right to the base of the root.'
'Muuum,' I said. 'They've got roots like tree trunks, and they go about six foot down.'
'They don't go six foot down: don't be so silly. Just get a fork out and put some welly into it. I don't want to come back at the end of term and find I have to do it all over again. I can't plant any flowers if those smelly blue things are still in there, waiting to pop up again.'
'Alright, alright,' I said grumpily. 'But I'm charging dad extra.'

And that's the bloody problem with blogs. You think you're talking about one thing, and all your mum is looking for is a way of cutting your pocket money.