Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.


Sunday, 10 May 2009

Mum complains again.

My mum is not happy with me.

'Holly,' she said as soon as I picked up the phone. 'You can't just chop the blue flowers and then spray them and "hope they'll go away". They won't go away: they're buggers. You have to get in there with a fork and get right to the base of the root.'
'Muuum,' I said. 'They've got roots like tree trunks, and they go about six foot down.'
'They don't go six foot down: don't be so silly. Just get a fork out and put some welly into it. I don't want to come back at the end of term and find I have to do it all over again. I can't plant any flowers if those smelly blue things are still in there, waiting to pop up again.'
'Alright, alright,' I said grumpily. 'But I'm charging dad extra.'

And that's the bloody problem with blogs. You think you're talking about one thing, and all your mum is looking for is a way of cutting your pocket money.