Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.


Friday, 10 April 2009

Big Cats Part 2

So, my sister texted me this morning, imagine a huge, claw-y tiger running at you. He's growling, he's hungry, he doesn't like blondes.
I peered at my phone. Bank Holidays do funny things to my family: they're all bloody teachers.
Mmm, I texted back. Imagining.
He's got you by the throat. He's throwing you around.
You still sticking to the fact that ignorance is scarier?
I decided not to respond to this message. I do not appreciate being mocked at 8.30 in the morning.
So, my sister texted again (she doesn't care if I ignore her: she's my sister), imagine a man Tiger with a gun running towards you, shouting. He doesn't like blondes either.
Why would he be running if he has a gun? I texted back. He should stay still if he has a gun.
It's a spiky gun. That's not the point. Ignorance is still scarier is it?
Whatever, I texted back in a sulk. 
Would you agree that sometimes you talk shit just because it sounds pretty? 
I stared at my phone, bottom lip pushed right out.
Yes, I agreed eventually. Sorry.

So, Tara: here's my apology. Ignorance is not scarier than tigers or Tigers. I'd rather be stupider than the day is long than attacked by a large cat or a man with a gun (running or not). Alright? Happy now?

You'd know all about ignorance, though. You're a teacher. Mwahahaha (don't text me at 8.30am, woman. Grr).