Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.


Tuesday, 21 April 2009


When flying in a hot air balloon, take another tip from me: wear sensible shoes. I pranced across the open fields like a gay little pony this evening, and it was remarked upon. (Indeed, the BBC caught it on camera, so I will be known as The Pansy-Runner - with my little toes pointed and my wrists held up and limp - forever.) 

They did tell me to wear sensible shoes, and I didn't listen: I have nobody to blame, therefore, but myself. 

And possibly Primark, for making such shoddy quality footwear. Damn £6 plimsolls. They are not conducive to a convincing display of athleticism.