Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.


Thursday, 26 March 2009

Mum complains

My mum is not happy with the below post.

"I come across as really mean," she complained. "I sound like a witch."
"Don't be silly," I said. "Witches don't eat toast."
"You left out a lot of the conversation," she added, ignoring me. "For instance, you didn't mention the bit where I said I wished I was there to give you a cuddle."
"It wasn't really relevant, mum," I pointed out.
"I said it twice, though. I said I wanted to give you a cuddle twice. And you didn't even mention it."
"Mum," I said patiently. "I have to edit. And the cuddles didn't really fit into the story."
"But they make me sound less mean," she said miserably. I heard her eat another piece of toast.
"Are you still eating toast?" I asked.
"It's been a long day. Also, you spelt publically wrong. It's publicly. You've done that twice now."
"Oh crap. Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure, yes. I'm an English teacher."
"Oh yeah. Okay, I'll change it. I'm freestyling: there's no spell check. Pretty impressive, ey? In this day and age, I think that's pretty impressive."
"Not really," mum said tiredly. "Anyway. Big cuddles: I love you. Night sweetheart."
"Night," I said.

You see, mum? I didn't leave out the cuddles that time. You just have to choose which cuddles fit the story, that's all.