HOLLY MIRANDA SMALE

Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.







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Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Outdoorsy versus Indoorsy

"I've decided," my dad said decisively a few minutes ago, "that you need to show the Queensland people that you're more outdoorsy."
"As opposed to...?"
"Indoorsy, obviously."
"Is indoorsy a word, dad?"
Dad ignored me.
"You don't want them to think that you just sit around all day typing. So, why don't you do a scuba diving course or something?"
"Where am I going to do that?"
"London?"
"London? Are there many scuba diving places in London?"
"Probably. They've got everything in London. You need to show that you can scuba dive."
"I can't though."
"For God's sake, don't tell them that."
"But, dad, wouldn't you rather read a blog or watch a video about someone who can't scuba dive, and is having fun trying anyway? It would be hysterical. Anyway, most tourists can't scuba dive. Wouldn't they rather know what it's like in the Whitsundays learning, rather than already knowing how to? It would be funny."
"I don't think funny is what they're looking for, Holly. I think they want to know that you're an outdoorsy type. Not an indoorsy type. And yes, indoorsy is a bloody word."

Is he right? The thing is: who is 'indoorsy' by nature? You're 'indoorsy' by circumstance, aren't you? I'm a Londoner. I have grown up with trips to Brighton as my only real sea-experience (and I've got photos of me in the sea on New Years Eve, aged four, to prove it). I climb hills, when I can find them. I swim, when I can find a large expanse of water. I ride elephants/camels etc when I can get my paws on them. But there just aren't that many in Welwyn Garden City (and it's something I have often considered complaining to the local council about).

Put anyone - Londoner or not - on a beautiful island, surrounded by water and islands and caves and animals, and they'll show you they're 'outdoorsy'. I defy them not to. We're animals, essentially, and no animal would choose to sit in a dark room when they can play in the sun. But proving I'm 'outdoorsy'? It's a tricky one.

"Well," dad said when I explained this to him. "I'm only going to say it one more time, Hols. You need to start jogging. That's outdoorsy, at least."

Get him, mum.