Writer, photographer, "rapper" and general technophobe takes on the internet in what could be a very, very messy fight. But it's alright: she's harder than she looks, and she's wearing every single ring she could get her hands on.


Sunday, 15 March 2009

Float On

My mum rang me this morning. 
"Why," she said, "are you blogging about the cat?"
"Morning, mum."
"Don't 'morning me', Holly. Why are you blogging about the cat? How is blogging about the cat going to get you a job on a tropical island?"
"They probably have cats out there too, mum."
"Do they? Oh. Well. I didn't know that." (Pause.) "But that's not the point, sweetie. You need to be writing about something constructive. Like snorkelling or something. Something relevant."
"I'm nowhere near a beach, though. I'm not even near a lake."
"Then make something up," she sighed in exasperation. "You write fiction, don't you?" 

I do, indeed, write fiction. Even the above conversation is edited: she actually started off with "are you eating properly, and have you thought about making a documentary about squirrels?" (I hadn't.) PRing yourself is a very difficult process though. It comes naturally to some people; some people, for instance, already have mugs with their own faces on them. These people, no doubt, would have no problem ringing up national newspapers and explaining that they need to be written about, and quickly. Me, though... I still write Hx at the end of an email, because somehow putting my name on it makes me feel awkward. And here I am: gunning for a job that I could do so well, but that I have to talk about myself endlessly to get.

So, instead, I'm not going to. (For now, obviously. How easy is it to resist talking about yourself when you think you can get away with it? Going on a few blind dates is enough to prove just how strong that temptation is.) 

I'm going to talk about my ideas for The Island Job instead. Because ideas are always more exciting than the person that has them. 

The Alternative Video
I'm trying to get strangers/friends to film my application, but with them in it. Could be hysterical. (That's for me, rather than for the island, admittedly.)

The Island Story Machine (with a better name: to be thought about more carefully)
Whoever gets the job should start up an interactive Story Machine: people all over the world send suggestions for a story, and every day you put them together and write a short one, based on the island.

Everyone's Caretaker
Similarly, everyone around the world suggests things they would like to see you do, and you do it on video and send it back. Clothed, obviously. It's not that kind of video. 

Video Gaga
Each week on the island, a video is produced. This will take a different form - poem, music video, drama, etc -- and each week a different, new, unheard of band is used. Imagine! You could get brilliant new music out to the masses in one fell swoop. 

It shouldn't be all 'traditional' online media. Yes, Blog, Facebook, Twitter etc, but what about scanning in art of the islands, photographs, stories about people that live there (Talking Heads style)? Make online media more traditional again.

Anyway, I'll let you know what my mum thinks. Maybe I'll ask the cat too.